the winking camera :: personal story

it's rare, but there are times that i don't want to take any pictures.  this happens when i want to be completely in the moment.  when i don't want to constantly think about what would make a good picture.  when i don't want to think like a photographer.  when i just want to feel the experience all thru my body and remember that feeling forever.  when i just want to focus.

isn't that odd?  most people take pictures so they can remember, and i do the opposite.  during huge moments.  i leave the camera at home when there is something so special happening that i would hate to miss a second of it...

and that is when i use my "winking camera".  what is that? you ask.  whenever i want to remember a moment forever, i pretend that my eyes are cameras and i quickly close the eyelids the way a shutter would close.  i then focus on keeping that picture in my mind and promise myself that i will never forget it.

my best friend is getting married next month.  last saturday, for her bachelorette party, we went to a dave mathews show at wrigley field in chicago.  this was a huge moment for a couple reasons. 

1. we were celebrating a rite of passage with her
2. i used to live 2 blocks from wrigley field, and i'm a cubs fan.  just getting on the field with no band would have been amazing
3. i spent most of high school & college listening to dmb, so seeing them at this stage in my life made me feel young and carefree again
4. the look on my best friends face as we danced

almost everyone in the crowd that night had a camera.  i'm so glad i didn't.

dmb played my very favorite song.  i tried to find a good video from saturday night, but the loud crown interfered in everything i saw.  here's the same song, performed in 1999...  i was just beginning to love it then.