bunny babies :: personal story

my husband ran over a bunny nest with the lawn mower the other day. fortunately, none of the bunnies were hurt, however, mommy rabbit took off. so... now i'm raising 8 baby bunnies. in my kitchen.

i can't get enough of the cuteness! they are so sweet and snugglie. because their eyes are open and their ears are popped, we are guessing they are about 2 weeks old. this is good because they need to be nursed any younger than that. thankfully, all we really have to feed them is clover and dandelions... both of which we have growing abundantly in our yard.

we will release them in a week or two. i've heard stories of this happening to people and the bunnies stick close to the house after they are released. i'm hoping if i snuggle them enough they will remember me. until then though, i'm enjoying every minute with these little stinkers!

a prepared donation :: personal story

not too long ago, "the monster" was looking out the window as we drove and noticed a homeless man.

"mom", he said, "we should give that man a ride; i think he's cold."

well, of course he was cold, it was probably negative something out and he was homeless. no home. no car. hell, i didn't even see a blanket.

for a second, i pictured myself pulling over and offering to take the man to get something to eat. he would climb in the car, smell terrible most likely, and freak my kids out. freak me out. plus, you know, he could rob or kill us. i was afraid. yeah, i was too scared to do that.

second option: i could pull over and give him money. then, the man could buy his own dinner in a warm restaurant... or buy drugs. or alcohol. yeah, scratch that idea too.

i walked through my fears with "the monster" and explained why we couldn't help the homeless, car-less, blanket-less man on this negative degree day/week/entire winter. then, "the monster" had a great idea that propelled me into a moment of pure pride of my son's huge heart. he thought we should put together packages of food and pass them out to all the homeless people in the city.

well, i'm not totally sure where to find all the homeless people in the city, but we did put together little packages of snacks, water, tissues, etc. now, we will always have them in our car and when we find a homeless person asking for help, we can help them! we can provide for them without fear. and, my son can learn what it feels like to do acts of kindness... like his huge heart is pulling him to do.

i encourage you friends, to do the same. clean out your cupboards and make little packages for the homeless and/or needy. carry them with you and help when you can. it's so simple, yet so huge. xoxo

he/she sculpture :: personal story

you know, i'm weird. so it's really only fitting that i make & give my husband something weird for valentine's day.  here is the "sculpture" i made him. you see, he's the big, spikey piece and i'm the prett, delicate flowery piece. i'll let you think about what the on/off switch is for. {wink, wink}

boyish good looks :: personal story

the other day, "the monster" was looking at a kindergarten picture of my husband. "do you think i look like daddy?" he asked. "well, actually sweetie, you look a lot like me" i replied.

"what?! you mean, i look like a girl?" he was appalled.

after calming him down with age-appropriate reasoning, i began recalling having the very same emotions as a child. besides for the color of my eyes, i favor my father. or at least i did when i was a child. i have his large nose (which was unproportionally giant as i faced my teen years). i have his long face. i have his darkness under the eyes. the good thing is, i have his childish sense of humor and vibrant personality, so that makes up for it. {wink, wink}

now, as an adult, i see more of my mother. i'm aging like her. my eyelid skin is beginning to fall onto my eyes. i have her laugh lines. i have the faint beginnings of a vertical line between my eyebrows. what i didn't inherit are her high, strong cheek bones that make any women look young at any age. o well...

so, here i am. with no makeup. i think i look like a boy. i don't like it, but i don't hate it either. it's just me... the "me" that my parents made from scratch. the "me" that has learned, as i've matured, to love the inside more than the outside.

so. now, i've done it. i've braved your judgement and posted a picture online of myself in my most boyish and rawest state. i feel courageous and so, that part makes me feel beautiful. do you go out without makeup? it's pretty liberating. it feels like i'm saying to the world... "f-you, i'm pretty on the inside!" and that feels good!!!

anyway, i'm still gonna wear makeup most days. let's not get crazy here. hell, i can't even avoid the packaging of the makeup in the store. it's pretty and it promises to make me pretty. what's not to like? but, you know, if you need an extra self-esteem boost someday... you might just try it. just shower and walk out of the house. no fuss. it will feel good i promise.

studio tour :: art studio photography

over the weekend, the shop girls helped me cleaned up the ridiculous mess i call my art studio. located in the back of the shop, over the holidays, this room became the dumping ground for 1/2 finished projects. seriously, you couldn't even walk into it. seriously.

last sunday night, my sparkly cousin and i spent the evening crafting & drinking wine by candlelight to celebrate what a giant day of organizing we had. i didn't even care that i had to wake up early with my boys the next day, because there is an adrenaline rush that comes with a fresh art room... don't you think?

loves to my ol' sparkly. xoxo

a beautiful mess :: personal story

here are some messes i find beautiful...

1. the mess on christmas morning, after presents are torn open by children
2. the mess inside a paint jar when i am done working on a canvas
3. the mess on my boys after they have been playing in the mud
4. the mess of a strong and stressful marriage
5. the mess in my kitchen after a birthday cake has been decorated
6. the mess on the living room floor during an epic blanket fort
7. the mess in the liter box. "in" being the key word here
8. the mess of my hair... that one day out of the year when i wake up and the "bed head" look actually happened in a lovely way
9. the mess of a mother/daughter relationship
10. the mess of my life. i love it.

otherwise, i pretty much like things nice & tidy. xoxo

gathering our harvest :: personal story

remember the pumpkin bridge? the boy's creative paint job has been done for a while now, and we've just been waiting on our pumpkins to grow! hubby was out in the yard last week and mentioned at dinner that night he thought they were ready to pick. so, the very next morning, the boys took the wagon down and gathered our harvest!

we actually planted 3 different types of pumpkins, but only one type (pictured above) was ready. although we followed the directions on the seed packets, i think we planted the other two types too late. they look like they won't be done growing until early november, and that's if we don't get a frost first that kills them. live & learn i guess!

i am happy with our simple orange carving variety anyway! all in all, we picked 16 pumpkins. we have given a few away and our steps are still full of them.

happy autumn friends. xoxo

cub scout camp :: nature photography

hubby took the boys camping for "the monster's" cub scout campout last weekend. i stopped by briefly between work and a charity event to kiss everyone goodnight and catch the end of the rain-gutter regatta (a handmade boat race). this is our first year doing cub scouts, so we had never been to the campout area. so cute! it's only about a mile from our house too... so funny that we've never driven back along the roads there. it winds and winds along the side of the lake. i can only imagine what it will look like in a couple weeks when the leaves are bright autumn colors....

o, and you might be wondering why there are no pictures of "the monster". well, i'll tell you... i couldn't get one. he is literally euphoric when he plays with his new friends that he doesn't stay in one place long enough. they ran and explored and threw rocks and were up to no good at times. he loves it and i love that.

have a good weekend friends. xoxo

a dog's life: a letter to my sweet daisy :: personal story

i think some would agree that pets are our family. my daisy dog certainly was. grieving the loss of a pet is an odd feeling, because unlike children, you know going into it that your sweet pet will most likely go before you. you are setting yourself up for pain... but it's worth it. and then when they do go, you try to tell yourself that many have been through this before and to toughen up. to stop crying...

but i can't. i am mourning the loss of a special family member and here is my letter to her...

x

my dear sweet daisy dog... where do i begin?  you were my first "child".  i spoiled you and i was young and you were cute, so there was hardly any discipline.  i took you everywhere. you barked loudly and often. you climbed on the couches and beds like they were your very own.  in fact, you insisted on actually being under the covers.  when we lived in chicago, there was a good couple months when i didn't know anyone and it was simply just the two of us.  we would walk the sidewalks of the city neighborhoods and i would take you to the dog parks.  you pulled me along and that drove me crazy.  i was in grad school and working full-time... so busy that i was hardly home.  you were nervous and anxious and i'm sorry i made you that way.  you hated apartment life.  i'm so sorry. when i was pregnant with "the monster" you snuggled my belly and your warmth made it feel better.  you sniffed him endlessly to inspect him after he was born. then you bravely protected him from any guest that came over. i'm glad that you were his first dog and that he will always remember you.

you were older when "bump" was born and your hip was really starting to hurt.  he would clumsily fall onto you and you would growl or pretend to nip him.  i was always impressed with your self-constraint as you never hurt him, although i'm sure he drove you crazy.

i'm sorry that as the boys got older our time together became less often.  i'm sorry that i yelled at you in the middle of the night for breaking things, when really it was an earthquake and i was too sleepy to know.  i'm sorry that when i yelled at the boys it would scare you and you would hide in our bed.  i'm sorry that i didn't let you in last monday when you were barking at the door. i'm sorry i wasn't there with you when you died. i'm sorry that you passed in such an ugly way. i'm so so so sorry sweet girl.

our house is empty now. i don't hear the jingle of your dog tags when you move around the house. your food and water bowl are gone. there is an empty place in front of the fireplace where your bed was. i breakdown after almost every dinner as i am on my hands and knees cleaning up the food the falls from the table. you took care of that. each morning before i leave, i find myself wondering into the living room to kiss you goodbye and then i remember you aren't there. after 13 years of wonderful memories, for some reason the only thing that i can picture is you lying on the side of the road, tore open and the look on carl's face when he came to get me. i'm so thankful that your little head wasn't hurt so that i could kiss you goodbye. i kissed you in my favorite spot... right between your eye and little ear. your fur was turning white from age there.

we wrapped you in your favorite blanket and i carried you up to the house. we buried you in the front yard where you would lie waiting for us to come home each night. friends and family that love you have brought flowers and made it a special place. but it doesn't bring you back. and i'm not sure when my crying will stop.

you were my first child sweet girl. you taught me to love unconditionally, to care & nurture. you changed my heart forever daisy dog and i will love you always.