who am i? :: personal story

so sometimes i find myself in this odd parallel universe where i feel like myself, yet the strangest things come out of my mouth. after the words escape me, i'm left astonished that i, a reasonably smart person, said such a thing without any hesitation. like it's completely normal to utter such ridiculous sentences almost everyday of my life. over and over.

but then again... i'm a mom. and that happens to mothers.

10 things i never thought i would say, but do almost everyday:

1. please don't lay on top of the baby.  you'll squish him.
2. i know they are called "throw pillows" but they belong on the couch in a nice orderly fashion.
3. you are in big trouble mister.  now sit criss-cross-apple-sauce right there and face the wall.
4. sure, you can pretend i'm a surfboard while i lie on the floor.  
5. leave the dog alone.  if you don't, she'll bite you and i'm not going to feel sorry for you.
6. once upon a time, there was a rabbit named louisa that had floppy ears and she tripped over them as she hopped.  (my childhood pet's adventures have become the latest & greatest bedtime stories)
7. wipe your own bottom.  you have to learn someday.
8. eat three more bites, without spitting them out and you can have a cookie.
9. you want me to sing the theme song to hot wheels: battleforce five?  ok...
10. i love you to the moon and back.  and back again.  and back again.  infinity times.  infinity plus one.  infinity plus a million.  goodnight.